Optimizers in the age of the Internet

This is and XKCD comic related to some posts a while back about Optimizers vs. Satisficers. Thanks to Dr. Jay for passing it on!

Choice Part IV

So to wrap up the choice thing, at least for now, here are some things that help me to feel a sense of abundance, happiness, and peace resulting from a purchase, rather than, say, guilt or anger.

1. feel good about my choice and not distracted by "missed opportunities"
2. feel like the amount I paid for it is in line with the need it fills or problem it solves AND how much I think it should cost; this last one pretty much always requires a coupon
3. use the item--not leave it sitting in the closet collecting dust because I either hate it or am trying to "save" it
4. feel like it serves me well and fulfills its expected purpose until my need of it runs out
5. use it up; wear it out: like my jeans that I've worn several days a week for 2 years now; I feel like I've gotten my money's worth vs. three different plastic pieces broke off our vaccuum in the first 2.5 years, so it doesn't really work like it's supposed to, but it sort of works, but it would cost more to fix than to get a new one; I have very uncharitable feelings toward the vacuum
6. if there's anything left of the item, I can pass it on to someone else who can use it

If I can use something up and get a lot of mileage out of something, I am actually excited to buy another (as long as they still make it, whatever it is!). No need to optimize a choice, and I have proven to myself that it won't sit unused.

Choice Part III

So. As I was saying.
Too many choices (in your closet, in your cabinet, at the store, on the playroom shelves) can result in

• second guessing
• focusing on missed opportunities 
• overlooking the positive aspects of the final decision
• less satisfaction with whatever we choose
• getting overwhelmed and making no choice at all (this can be good or bad, depending on the choice!)
• distraction from the goals behind the choice (and the pertinent criteria)
• stress
• overbuying (if I don't really know what I have and don't really feel like what I have is satisfying my needs)

And I feel that all these things really snuff out feelings of abundance. They make it difficult or impossible to appreciate and use what we have. To be satisfied with what we have, and to be grateful for what we have. To feel like we have what we need. To feel like we have enough.

Choice Part II: Satisficers vs. Optimizers

Apparently, there are different kinds of choosers. Satisficers and Optimizers. (The word Satisficer gets points not only for standing for a useful concept, but also for being a portmanteau of 2 other words.)

Satisficers have a set of criteria and will look at options until they find an option that meets their criteria. An optimizer, meanwhile, wants to explore every option before making a decision, no matter how many things they have to look at. 

My husband is a Satisficer. Say we are looking for a new TV. He is really good at taking a list of criteria and finding some options on, say, the Internet that fit these criteria, and then reading reviews to choose the best of the few options he has identified in order to choose something that will work well for us.

I, on the other hand, feel like I need to look at every single TV on the market, consider all variables equally, and then make the perfect decision, taking into account every feature, even ones we don't actually care about, like, maybe, 3D capability. The result? I drive myself insane and never make a choice. It's no way to live. (Although, I have noticed that if you go without something like a TV for long enough, someone will eventually offer you their cast-off and out-of-date TV, and I am pretty much always satisfied with hand-me-downs, which is ironic, because in that situation I get to choose none of the variables. Although maybe that's not ironic, given the Paradox of Choice.)

Here is a great post about Satisficers vs. Optimizers. The part I think applies here most:

There is a famous study looking at jam.  People bought more jam when they got to choose between 6 types of jam than when they had to choose between 24 types.  The theory is that when given too many choices, they became paralyzed and rather than optimizing, they made no choice at all. 

I love the saying, "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." I talk about it all the time. Here is Gretchen Rubin's take on it. When it comes to choices, I definitely have to remember it, but it is so hard for me. My husband makes good choices. I make none. So my husband gets to drive the choosing, while I play an advisory role. He sums up the pertinent variables and finds a couple of good enough options, and I chime in along the way. It works really well, as long as I can keep my inner control freak under control.

Decluttering my kitchen

I started reading a book called Simplicity Parenting that, according to the Website,

offers a simple, orderly, and effective pathway to simplify four realms at home, which reduces stress on children and their parents, and allows room for connection, creativity, and relaxation.
These four realms for simplifying are:
Environment: De-cluttering too much stuff at home.
Rhythm: Increasing predictability by introducing rhythmic moments for connection and calm.
Scheduling: Soothing violent schedules brings moments for Being into all the Doing.
Unplugging: Reducing the influence of adult concerns, media and consumerism on children and families to increase resilience, social and emotional intelligence.

 In the book he talks about how having too many choices, for example, having a roomful of toys, causes stress for kids, and I think that is really true for me, too. (See my posts on clothing.) Our kitchen was "organized" quickly when we moved in (I was pregnant at the time, and just needed to get it all unpacked) and then re-organized along with way in response to the arrival of new gadgets and changing babyproofing requirements. I finally started to feel too much pressure from all the stuff in the kitchen, and today I went through and got stuff out. Some I will get rid of and some I will keep in the storage room downstairs, but at least I got out all the stuff that is clogging up my drawers and cabinets that I don't use, don't like, feel guilty about, etc. And now, just like with the clothes, I feel more like I know what I have and what I need that I don't have (very little, as it turns out). I happened to be in Bed, Bath, and Beyond today, and it was just like with clothes. I was more able to look at things and think, "Yeah, I don't need that." And I'll tell you, it feels great. I am ready to do it in every room in the house!

Choices

Once a number of years ago, I was talking to my mother-in-law about something we were planning. I adore my MIL. She is very independent, and, like the rest of my husband's family, likes to plan things that my family would consider too complicated to entertain. I find this fun, as long as I don't have to be one of the planners. I don't remember what it was we were planning, but I remember at some point in the planning, she said something the gist of which was: "Let's stop planning here; we have some good options, and we can decide later." We have some good options. She says this pretty often, and I usually see it as a good thing, but this was the first time I remember thinking: "What is she talking about!? I don't want some good options! I want one option! I want a clear path, and a plan!"

I think I will probably have a number of posts about choices, and The Paradox of Choice. Some people think that we (first-worlders who aren't in poverty, say) have too many choices in our lives. Too many drawer pulls at Lowe's; too many spaghetti sauces at the grocery store; too many classes in college; too many toys in the playroom. And all these options actually make us unhappy. From the same Wikipedia article:

when people are faced with having to choose one option out of many desirable choices, they will begin to consider hypothetical trade-offs. Their options are evaluated in terms of missed opportunities instead of the opportunity's potential. Schwartz maintains that one of the downsides of making trade-offs is it alters how we feel about the decisions we face; afterwards, it affects the level of satisfaction we experience from our decision.

 From the same article:

when participants [in a study] were faced with a smaller rather than larger array of chocolates, they were actually more satisfied with their tasting.

It seems to me that too many choices can really snuff out feelings of abundance in many situations. I have noticed this in my closet, and I think it applies in many other areas as well. To be continued, I hope...