Pot Luck

After the bread challenge and trying to start this neighborhood group, I suddenly realized it was time to do something that I am so very comfortable doing: having a party.

Now, when I say I'm comfortable having a party, this might give you the wrong impression. Here is the kind of party I love to give, and have since forever. Invite a bunch of people over (one might even say...too many people), ask everyone to bring something to eat, stress the fact that it's very casual, and try to set everyone's expectations very low. The key is that everyone I invite is really nice, and I have to make a point to keep the preparations simple, simple, simple. 

Then people arrive, and the party has itself while I float around in a succession of half-finished interrupted conversations. And here's what always happens. It happened in Austin when I was single. And it happened the other day with neighborhood families: everyone is really pleased and friendly and wants to get to know each other, and they eat and chat and figure out who they know in common, and have  a great time. 

And I know everyone, at least a little, and like everyone, and don't really get to talk to anyone, but I just bask in the warm glow of a developing network of friends. 

Why I think you should take a break from Facebook, and what I think you should do instead

I think Facebook lessens feelings of abundance. You compare yourself to all the stuff people post that gives a totally skewed view of how awesome their lives are. Plus, it's addictive. You actually get a little tiny burst of dopamine when someone comments on your post or likes your link. So you find yourself constantly checking, looking for the hit. It distracts you when you should be driving. Or working. Or cooking dinner. "I just need to look real quick..."

At least, that's how it is for me. Plus, there are certain political topics that I like to assume everyone agrees with me about, and it is possible to learn on FB that some very lovely people do not agree with you. But I have the thinnest of skin and would go so far as to call myself a Highly Sensitive Person, so the very absolute last thing I ever want to do is engage in any kind of political debate. I wish I were someone who wants to be informed and engage in a mind-enhancing back-and-forth of lofty ideas. But I don't. I want to preach to the choir, and only the choir.

So I have taken a break from FaceBook.

...and started a Neighborhood Group instead. I used Google Groups and Google Sites and Google Docs and Google Maps, and made a list serve and a website, and I'm trying, along with a friend, to get people to join. We started spreading the word last week, and we are up to a whopping, uh, 13 members. Including me and her and my husband.

Anyway, so now instead of getting the dopamine hit from FB, I am getting it from checking to see if anyone has asked to join the group or filled out the "neighborhood activity survey" or left comments on the site. But my hope is that the formation of this group may result in some actual face-to-face interactions. Meeting new people who live around the corner. A sense of non-virtual community. And I think that would really increase the feeling of abundance in my life.

I'll let you know how it goes, but I can tell you this: we will be trying very hard to avoid any political topics.

FBC update and Intro to Treats

It is now Feburary 6, and I have so far made bread every day of February. Every day but yesterday, I have given a loaf away. Yesterday we had friends over and ate most of a loaf together, so I'm counting that.

Here are my thoughts so far:

• baking bread every day has not really been a hassle because I am doing it in a very stripped down way most days
• so far, I have not made any new friends by giving away bread
• since I often vary the variables (kinds of flour; amount of yeast, etc.) if I make one loaf in a day and give it away, I have no way to be certain if it's cooked through, if it's not as dense as a brick, etc.
• people seem very pleased to be given a fresh loaf of bread, even if you tell them you're not sure how it is because it comes out a little different every time: the pediatrician was so touched gave me a big hug
• I can overthink ANYTHING

Last winter when I first started making bread, fresh bread warm from the oven with plenty of butter was such a treat, that we would eat a bunch of it every time I made it. That, it turns out, is a really good way to get fat. Eventually, since I wasn't making every day, I got into the mindset that it would be good if we didn't run out of it right away, and so we got into the mindset of saving the bread, but not too long, because bread with no fat in it doesn't stay fresh forever. So it became a little bit of a rationing and controlling mindset about the bread. Not that I was denying anyone bread, but my approach changed from  "gobble it up (and get fat)" to "save it (and end up eating some pretty stale bread)."

I realized this the first couple of days of this month when I made 2 loaves each day, so we would have one to eat and one to give away. Knowing that there would be more bread the next day really put me  back in the "let's eat all the bread now!" mindset. Fresh bread became a treat again because I wasn't having a scarcity mindset about it.

But I wonder: does something you have every day really count as a treat?

Choice Part IV

So to wrap up the choice thing, at least for now, here are some things that help me to feel a sense of abundance, happiness, and peace resulting from a purchase, rather than, say, guilt or anger.

1. feel good about my choice and not distracted by "missed opportunities"
2. feel like the amount I paid for it is in line with the need it fills or problem it solves AND how much I think it should cost; this last one pretty much always requires a coupon
3. use the item--not leave it sitting in the closet collecting dust because I either hate it or am trying to "save" it
4. feel like it serves me well and fulfills its expected purpose until my need of it runs out
5. use it up; wear it out: like my jeans that I've worn several days a week for 2 years now; I feel like I've gotten my money's worth vs. three different plastic pieces broke off our vaccuum in the first 2.5 years, so it doesn't really work like it's supposed to, but it sort of works, but it would cost more to fix than to get a new one; I have very uncharitable feelings toward the vacuum
6. if there's anything left of the item, I can pass it on to someone else who can use it

If I can use something up and get a lot of mileage out of something, I am actually excited to buy another (as long as they still make it, whatever it is!). No need to optimize a choice, and I have proven to myself that it won't sit unused.

Choice Part III

So. As I was saying.
Too many choices (in your closet, in your cabinet, at the store, on the playroom shelves) can result in

• second guessing
• focusing on missed opportunities 
• overlooking the positive aspects of the final decision
• less satisfaction with whatever we choose
• getting overwhelmed and making no choice at all (this can be good or bad, depending on the choice!)
• distraction from the goals behind the choice (and the pertinent criteria)
• stress
• overbuying (if I don't really know what I have and don't really feel like what I have is satisfying my needs)

And I feel that all these things really snuff out feelings of abundance. They make it difficult or impossible to appreciate and use what we have. To be satisfied with what we have, and to be grateful for what we have. To feel like we have what we need. To feel like we have enough.

Decluttering my kitchen

I started reading a book called Simplicity Parenting that, according to the Website,

offers a simple, orderly, and effective pathway to simplify four realms at home, which reduces stress on children and their parents, and allows room for connection, creativity, and relaxation.
These four realms for simplifying are:
Environment: De-cluttering too much stuff at home.
Rhythm: Increasing predictability by introducing rhythmic moments for connection and calm.
Scheduling: Soothing violent schedules brings moments for Being into all the Doing.
Unplugging: Reducing the influence of adult concerns, media and consumerism on children and families to increase resilience, social and emotional intelligence.

 In the book he talks about how having too many choices, for example, having a roomful of toys, causes stress for kids, and I think that is really true for me, too. (See my posts on clothing.) Our kitchen was "organized" quickly when we moved in (I was pregnant at the time, and just needed to get it all unpacked) and then re-organized along with way in response to the arrival of new gadgets and changing babyproofing requirements. I finally started to feel too much pressure from all the stuff in the kitchen, and today I went through and got stuff out. Some I will get rid of and some I will keep in the storage room downstairs, but at least I got out all the stuff that is clogging up my drawers and cabinets that I don't use, don't like, feel guilty about, etc. And now, just like with the clothes, I feel more like I know what I have and what I need that I don't have (very little, as it turns out). I happened to be in Bed, Bath, and Beyond today, and it was just like with clothes. I was more able to look at things and think, "Yeah, I don't need that." And I'll tell you, it feels great. I am ready to do it in every room in the house!

Choices

Once a number of years ago, I was talking to my mother-in-law about something we were planning. I adore my MIL. She is very independent, and, like the rest of my husband's family, likes to plan things that my family would consider too complicated to entertain. I find this fun, as long as I don't have to be one of the planners. I don't remember what it was we were planning, but I remember at some point in the planning, she said something the gist of which was: "Let's stop planning here; we have some good options, and we can decide later." We have some good options. She says this pretty often, and I usually see it as a good thing, but this was the first time I remember thinking: "What is she talking about!? I don't want some good options! I want one option! I want a clear path, and a plan!"

I think I will probably have a number of posts about choices, and The Paradox of Choice. Some people think that we (first-worlders who aren't in poverty, say) have too many choices in our lives. Too many drawer pulls at Lowe's; too many spaghetti sauces at the grocery store; too many classes in college; too many toys in the playroom. And all these options actually make us unhappy. From the same Wikipedia article:

when people are faced with having to choose one option out of many desirable choices, they will begin to consider hypothetical trade-offs. Their options are evaluated in terms of missed opportunities instead of the opportunity's potential. Schwartz maintains that one of the downsides of making trade-offs is it alters how we feel about the decisions we face; afterwards, it affects the level of satisfaction we experience from our decision.

 From the same article:

when participants [in a study] were faced with a smaller rather than larger array of chocolates, they were actually more satisfied with their tasting.

It seems to me that too many choices can really snuff out feelings of abundance in many situations. I have noticed this in my closet, and I think it applies in many other areas as well. To be continued, I hope...

Crazy Idea?: February Bread Challenge

In The Happiness Project, the Gretchen Rubin occasionally gives herself a challenge, such as the Week of Extreme Nice. Here is her explanation:

What is “Extreme Nice”? It’s an extreme sport like bungee jumping or skydiving—pushing the envelope, exerting myself beyond my ordinary efforts, finding new depths in myself to meet the hardest challenges. And I can do it in my own home.

So this week I intend to be utterly nice to [my husband]. No criticism. No pestering. No bickering. Jumping up to do whatever he asks me to do, responding enthusiastically to his every suggestion.

Maybe I need a challenge like this? According to GR, being happier requires you to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth. I have grown in many ways since becoming a mom 5 1/2 years ago, but these ways were largely chosen for me and out of necessity, by this or that Parenting Challenge. Now I finally feel like I can attempt a little growth for myself. I have a few areas of my life in mind that could use some attention, and this challenge would address a couple of them. Here's my idea: make bread every day for a month.

In order to get really good at something, in order to become an expert, you need to do it A LOT. Like, for 10,000 hours. I'm not proposing spending 20 hours/week for 10 years making bread. I don't need to do it that well. But it's certainly something I'd like to get better at, and I think a lot of baking for a few weeks would take me to the next level.

Gretchen Rubin also says that it's easier to do something EVERY DAY than to do it every other day or every few days. I have definitely noticed this with exercise. And with this blog.

But that would result in a lot of bread, especially considering that I am currently working on ways to increase efficiency by baking more than one loaf at a time and freezing the extra. Even though we have a pretty big freezer, 1 or 2 loaves a day for 29 days--or 21 days if I do only week days--or 25 days if I were to only take one day a week off--that would be a lot of bread. So there's another component to the Bread Challenge.

A friend from Cleveland, Emily, has been making pies (a. lot. of. pies.) since last summer, and blogging about it at her blog, Pie Eyed. A couple of months ago, she started giving away pie once a week to someone she encountered in her daily life who brightened her day: the oil-change guy; the lady at the convenience store; the guy who works as Subway. She calls it Pie It Forward. Maybe I could give away fresh-baked bread?

We have only lived in this area for 4 years, and the first couple I was either pregnant or taking care of a baby, and I don't tend to learn new areas very well, and I am not always one to jump in and meet someone new because I do a lot of second-guessing myself, and I always want to find ways to help the community but it can be a project to figure out where, say, Ronald McDonald House is and do they take used toys, or do they have a rule against it, etc.

So I think this would

1. Get me out in the community, meeting neighbors on our street as well as learning where a place like the Ronald McDonald House is;
2. Give me a chance to do something nice for other people, which will hopefully lift their spirits as well as my own;
3. Give me a chance to thank people who have helped me out in the past, like the Bunny Foster Home Lady who gave me a bucket of bunny poop for my garden and who works really hard helping bunnies find homes--gratitude is an important way to help you appreciate the Abundance in your life;
4. Get me chatting and connecting with new people--who knows? I may even make a friend, which would help me feel more Abundance; and
5. Help me to share what I have, which I believe is a big way to feel Abundance.

I don't know if or how I'm going to do it. If I do it, I will definitely post about it on my blog. I will leave you now with a quote I found on the Internet yesterday that probably doesn't really apply, but here it is anyway:

"Bread for myself is a material question. Bread for my neighbor is a spiritual one."  -- Nikolai Berdyaev

Bread

The wonder of taking flour, yeast, salt, and water and turning it into a beautiful, good-smelling, delicious, and nourishing loaf of bread is some kind of magic.

And I know that it seems like it will be hard and take a long time and could not possibly be worth the trouble. But I am a bread evangelist, a term I heard from my friend Jennifer, who is also a bread evangelist, and I am here to tell you that it is definitely worth doing. (Here is where I try really hard to convince you to try making bread, but with a modified recipe for sandwich bread, made a easy as I could possibly make it.) This recipe has no kneading or water-temperature-checking. The amount of time you will actually spend fiddling with the bread is maybe 15 minutes, spread out over 20 hours. And the bread you make will drive you mad with desire, and your guests will talk about it with longing long after they have gone home.

This is the recipe I currently follow to make a rustic boule:
No-Knead Bread: So Easy a Four-Year-Old Can Make It

Here is the original Mark Bittman recipe that the above is closely based on, but I think the above one is easier to follow.

And here is the video of Jim Lahey showing Mark Bittman how to do it.

Now. Go forth and bake bread!

More on clothes: less really is more

I talked about reducing clothes here. This is more on that subject.

1. My friend Tina said on FaceBook one Saturday a few months ago that she and her family had  folded and put away so much laundry that day that she couldn't believe they had so many clothes in their house. She was tempted to do like a friend of hers had done and make each person in the house choose three outfits and donate the rest.
2. I was always sorting clothes. Sorting more and more until I had separate loads for whites, synthetics, sheets, towels, rags, pants, shirts, and sweaters. It seemed like if every day I did a load or 2, I could catch up, but there were always huge piles of dirty laundry around waiting to be washed. And there were huge piles of clean laundry around waiting to be folded and jammed into too-full drawers. Then my friend Adam, who, along with his family, has very fresh-looking clothes, said he just washes everything together.
3. In the last year, when we travel to see relatives, which is usually why we travel, we bring clothes for 3 days (4 days for the kids, because they are still pretty young, and sometimes need to change during the day) and wash whatever we wear every day, and it works pretty well. 

So I thought about all this, and decided that we would go through all the drawers and closets. Here is what we did:

• Choose about 4 of each thing (sweaters, underpants, T-shirts, etc.) and put them in our drawers. 
• Look at the rest of the stuff. Is it worn out? Outdated? Does it make us feel queasy with guilt because we spent money on it but don't wear it or someone gave it to us and we don't like it? GET RID OF IT! Give it away, donate it, sell it, consign it, throw it away. I don't care. Just get it out of there.
• What's left? Is it just as good as the stuff in the drawers but maybe not our top 3 favorites? Stick it in a bin in the closet for those times when a) the things you have been wearing every 4th day wear out; or b) something like a cold or a vacation disrupts the usual order of things.
• Voila! You can easily see what you have to wear. It is easy to put things away because the drawers aren't jammed full. 
• I do one load of clothes every day, then, if necessary, a load of rags or sheets and towels. I can usually manage to put everything away every day, and, when I don't, we can just pull the clean, folded outfit from 2 days before out of the laundry basket and put it on. It is awesome.

My friend May wrote to me recently, "Having just moved into a compact little space, I feel that completely - I got rid of so many clothes I didn't wear, and now I'm really wearing what I have. My friend Walter talks about the 20%-80% rule of clothes. We wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time. I like the idea of just slimming down what we have so that we're closer to owning just that 20 (or 25 - need some special things) percent!"

Abundance Measures, Part II

Continued from an earlier post. Continuing the list of things that can be ways to save money, but also create a greater feeling of plenty: Austerity Measures reframed as Abundance Measures.

• A garden. This one is sort of obvious, but, just think! With hard work, knowledge, and some luck, you can have so much zucchini you can eat it for dinner every night, share it with the neighbors, and still have to make loaves of zucchini bread to use it all up. I will try to post about my gardening adventures another time.
• Coupons. There are all these sites now that offer substantial deals on local or national products and services--even museum memberships! As with all shopping, one must be careful not to buy things one does not want or need just because it's half price. But I am always looking for ways to get to know our region, activities to do with kids, places to go on dates with my husband other than Home Depot, and new restaurants to try. We have gotten to try a lot of new things that have been really fun because of Groupon and LivingSocial. I also glance through those coupon magazines we get in the mail for new restaurants to try, and I have an old email account I use to get coupons from stores I go in often. 
• Memberships to local attractions if you have kids. Zoo, nature center, natural history museum. Even if the attractions in your area aren't world-class, if you have kids, they don't care. There's something so awesome about knowing you can go to the zoo FOR AN HOUR and not feel like you have to spend all day there to get your money's worth. And if you go often, the whole family starts to feel some familiarity and ownership of the place, and that, I think, is when you can really enjoy it. You know where the bathrooms are. You have a strategy for avoiding the giftshop. You know if there's a place you can eat a packed lunch. Plus, these kinds of things are great gifts to ask for from family who want to get you or your kids something but you feel like you already have more toys than you your kids can put away. 

Abundance at the Mall (but not the kind you expect)

Today I was at the mall a few miles from our house, returning things (I get so much satisfaction from returning things; it's almost perverse). It's not the biggest mall in our smallish city, and when we first moved to the area, I found it depressing, because it seemed like a lot of stores had recently closed, and I couldn't imagine/believe that we had managed to move to a city that was more forlorn than Cleveland. The economy was going down the tubes, and what is sadder than an empty mall? Plus, there was a branch of the library at the mall, which depressed me even further. Shouldn't the library be in a grand old building in the town center? Apparently we had moved to a city with no soul, or, at least, no town center.

But little by little, over the past 3+ years, a whole wing of the mall has become something new. As I walked along today, I realized most of the spaces are now occupied, and lots of them seemed quite busy. Here is a partial list:

• Niki's Party Place: bounce houses
• Black Mamba (indoor) Skate Park: today they were having girls' beginning roller derby, as well as skateboarding and scootering
• Buff Body Works: kickboxing
• Central NY Chapter NRHS: huge model railroad display
• CNY Boxing
• CNY Triathalon
• CORE Fitness
• Home Run Softball: people were actually in there batting
• Pools Brook Driving: golf
• Rhythms of Syracuse: after school music lessons
• Salt City Improv Theatre: classes and $5 performances
• Syracuse Kung Fu
• Syracuse Martial Arts Academy
• Syracuse Musketeer's Fencing
• Syracuse Project 4 Our Teens (The SPOT)
• CNY Gym Center: huge gymnastics place
• Branch's driving school: cars; not golf
• CNY Artists.com

These are in addition to a children's play area, the library, and a movie theater. The mall has really become a busy place, with people taking classes, bringing their kids to classes, walking the mall, meeting people at Dunkin' Donuts, etc. I love how the mall now feels like a town center, and since it's Syracuse, its being indoors probably isn't a bad thing. It turns out the town does have a soul, it just happens to be at the mall.

The mall took an economic difficulty and turned it into something that makes me feel rich: so much to do so close to home, all in one place. Talk about turning austerity into abundance.

Things that foster an abundance mentality (and things that don't)

A partial list of things that may increase a feeling of plenty:

• a trip to CostCo
• giving/sharing
• using what you have (equipment like a food processor or tent or supplies like canned asparagus that's been in your pantry for 3 years or special soap)
• saying "yes"

A partial list of things that may stifle a feeling of plenty:

• TV (or other) commercials
• saving/hoarding
• dieting
• wasting
• saying "no"

The roots of my interest in Plenty

The first quote I remember reading that touched on this is from Anne Lamott's Operating Instructions: "...I wanted Sam to grow up with the sense that it's safe to fall, that there's enough of the important stuff in the world for him, including Band-Aids. I still secretly worry that there isn't enough love, or money, or acclaim, and I have to do all I can to make sure I get my fair share." I think a lot of people feel this way. That life is a zero-sum game in which something good happening to someone else means less good for me. This obviously does not lead to a feeling of Abundance.

I had an impression, in brushes with Europe and Europeans, that there was often a feeling of plenty growing out of small amounts of things: simple jewelry; small jars of preserved fruit.

I had a friend and roommate who seemed to cultivate a feeling of plenty in our house on the one day a week when she wasn't working her two jobs. She would shop and then cook a big meal on that one day, and even though it seems like much of it wouldn't get eaten, there was a feeling of abundance. There was also something about her kitchen, how it was designed and decorated, the appliances and utensils, in addition to the food, that reminded me of Under the Tuscan Sun, another example of European feelings of Abundance.

When I first started talking about getting an apartment with my then-future-husband, I was overcome by this idea that we would be able to finally live like grownups (I was 30 at the time), and I remember saying, thinking of the refrigerator, "We'll have juice in our house." I said it over and over, with different inflection, marveling at the possibilities and implications. Juice. In our house. Which is funny, because I don't usually drink juice because I think it is too sugary. The phrase is still powerful for me, even though I still don't quite understand why.

And lately, when I'm thinking about cooking for my husband and two kids, and am grasping for a model of family culinary abundance, I often think of the mother of a friend from elementary school. As I remember, a very dedicated stay-at-home mom with four sons. I remember hearing his friends talk about all the food there always was at their house. At this point, I have no idea how much detail was provided and how much I have filled in, but in my mind, on any given day, there is a big table with platters of spaghetti and meatballs, fried chicken, pots of soup, trays of lasagne, desserts, etc. Plenty for four athletic sons and any friends who might stop by. I spend a lot of time imagining this, and trying to work out the details and logistics of this kind of cooking.

Good But Not Perfect Home Baked Bread on Church Avenue Chomp

Here is a guest post I did for my great friend Meredith's blog last spring. It was the wrong time of year for bread, and it didn't inspire many comments, except for my cousin, who pretty much refuted the idea that it would work (the recipe she had used was, in fact, a different, but very similar, one). BUT, when I first started to write it, it seemed like it was going to be about how to get a feeling of Plenty in your life. Plus, it was a chance for me to think about just doing something, not waiting for the perfect time and the perfect bread, but just starting. Good bread that gets made is a helluva lot more tasty than perfect bread that never gets made.
Guest Post: Good But Not Perfect Home Baked Bread on Church Avenue Chomp

Abundance Measures, Part I

Last year at this time, due in part to the fact that we still own a house in a very depressed market in the city we moved from almost 4 years ago, we implemented Austerity Measures. It was actually a fun challenge. We (sort of) had a plan. We sounded like a European country. It was a Project, and we found that if we set our minds to it, we could buy very little other than food from week to week.

I should say that not buying things is something we're actually pretty good at, maybe too good at in some ways. At times we border on stingy. Spending money within one's means and mindfully is a beautiful thing. Indiscriminately not buying things that one can afford that would actually improve quality of life but not grossly negatively impact the world is just stingy, and does not bespeak an abundance mindset.

Well, after a few months, the particular crisis of a year ago passed, and gradually we let the project go to some extent. My husband and I are in agreement, however, that it would be in our best interest to spend less, to be more in line with our long-term financial goals.

I have decided, in light of my interest in Abundance, to reframe Austerity Measures, and instead call them Abundance Measures. In practical terms, these will be very similar. As I mentioned in my post yesterday, I think the two are different sides of the same coin in many ways. Here are some things that I think can be seen as both and why:

• Baking bread. I  started baking bread as a small way to save money, and it turns out that nothing says Abundance like freshly baked bread.
• Going to the library. I have a Masters in Library and Information Science, and have worked in a number of libraries. I hold libraries in very high esteem. I believe it is true that in hard economic times, libraries increase in use (if not in funding...). Not only can you get books there, but you can get music, movies, use of a computer, free children's programming like story hour, free classes for adults, etc. Your local library system allows access to more stuff than you could ever own, plus online catalogs can help you find what you want and have it sent directly to your branch. Talk about richness and abundance!
• Joining groups and seeing friends and family. It is my understanding that in difficult economic times, people find that spending time with other people is inexpensive but highly enriching.

Time to get the kid from preschool. That's it for now!

Abundance is the new Austerity

Or, maybe, Austerity is the new Abundance?

Reduce
I have been reading, and trying to put into practice, clutter clearing, such as getting rid of clothes I don't wear. It turns out once you get rid of stuff, maybe giving it to someone else who can use it, you are actually more able to use the stuff you do have. E.g., after clearing out your closet, you can see what's in your closet and actually wear it. You know everything fits you and is something you actually will wear, not something: you hope to fit into someday/someone gave you and you feel guilty about not liking/you wish you were the kind of person who would wear/etc. I have done this, and I actually do feel like I have more.

"Spend out"
Another prong of this Austerity/Abundance thing is using the things you have, not saving your good stuff for some "right" time to use it. Don't save the cloth napkins for a suitably fancy dinner party, or save the Le Creuset dutch oven until you are a better cook, or save the scented candles for the time when you finally have nothing on your To-Do list other than "take a leisurely bath" (haha!). Those times may never come.

Both of those things, reducing and "spending out" seem to me to be related to both Abundance and Austerity.

• You use what you have(letting it sit in your closet, unused, is wasting it).
• give away to someone else what you don't use (sharing abundance with other people), and then,
• having less, you actually have more (because you're actually using it all and can find it all).

This feels very incomplete. I'll try again another day. The first link above is to the Fly Lady, who I have found very helpful in getting ideas for approaching housework and clutter-clearing. The second is to Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project website. I just finished reading this book, and I got so much out of it. It is the most practical and interdisciplinary book I've found on the subject of happiness. GR and the FlyLady seem to be of the same mind re: clutter clearing and using what you have.