The Big Rocks, Part IV: the Point!

I wrote this in my first post, where it was already 9 am and I "hadn't even gotten anything done," but I decided to reframe:

It's not even 9 am, and I helped the kids get up, get dressed, eat a healthy breakfast, brush teeth, wash faces, and get to school on time, all with a largely positive attitude, little nagging, etc. Then I took a short walk...I would say that those are some REALLY IMPORTANT things that you have done already today.

Well, when I look back at my day at the end of each day, I tend to see Important Things from the To Do List that I didn't do, like organize the office or update my will. And then I see lots of sand and pebbles that I used to fill up my jar. Little, urgent things, like cleaning the kitchen and doing the laundry and making dinner, that couldn't possibly count as Big Rocks. And I feel like once again, I have failed. I have let the big rocks slide and have only wet sand to show for it. 

So I am taking a stab at reframing this. Taking Gretchen Rubin's idea of a chart where I can compare how I did today, but replace resolutions with, I don't know what to call them. Goals? Big rocks?

Is this possible? Can I stop to reframe at the end of each day, and maybe see that all this sand really builds up into these hugely important rocks?

I made a draft of a list of Big Rocks so that at the end of the day, or maybe even throughout the day,  I can go over my day and say, this thing that I did that seemed like an inconvenience and a distraction? This was part of a huge rock. Instead to going down a list of resolutions and checking off things I did, and seeing where I've failed, I'll go through my day and see how the little things were actually part of bigger things.

The list needs work. But here are a few Big Rocks that I think may help me see things differently:

• Look for opportunities to create a network of local friends. Example: The phone rang just before I was about to start my exercises, and I answered it, even though I had just enough time to exercise before preschool pickup. Mistake? No! I was able to talk to my neighbor about keeping an eye on her house while she's out of town, and she also asked me over for coffee another day. I took an opportunity to create a network of local friends, and that is very important!
• Take care of my physical, mental, and emotional needs. Example: I was feeling like I was catching a cold, so I didn't do all my exercises, and I didn't walk. Giant failure? No! I was taking care of my physical needs.
• Help the kids learn how to take care of their toys and books/themselves/their home. Example: I spent 10 minutes working with the boys to clean up a plant they knocked over. Waste of time? Inconvenience? No! I was helping them learn how to take care of their home, and that's very important!

I tried this last night, and it sort of worked, but I think my list of Big Rocks needs work. I'll let you know how it goes. Feel free to comment and let me know what you think. And, boy, am I relieved to finally finish this train of thought!

The Big Rocks, Part III

I think I'm really going to get to the point this time. I have a good feeling about it.

Part of Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project is/was keeping a resolutions chart. Like Ben Franklin and his  famous resolutions, she makes a list of resolutions, and scores herself on them daily. She explains pretty succinctly at that link why they work so well for her. I read the Happiness Project over New Year's weekend, and, though I think a Resolutions Chart would probably be useful to me, I did not make one.  I've never believed in New Year's resolutions, particularly, because I have always felt that I tried my best to do what I thought I should be doing all year round (not that I succeeded, but that I was trying) so there was no reason to make New Year's resolutions that, like diets, seem to be made to be broken.

So I continued my policy of not making resolutions, but I was obviously very inspired by what I read in her book (she appears in probably 1/3 of my posts, and a lot of what I write about has resulted from trying her suggestions), and I did jot down a list of things I thought of while reading that I thought would make me happier in the new year. It said:

• plenty project
• * time--slow down
• create at will
• be open to earning $$
• find people to play music with
• call friends; spend time with local friends; look for opportunities to create a network
• call not email
• reframe

In one of my first posts, I talked about reframing so that I would feel good about the few important things I had gotten done in a morning rather than focusing on the things I wasn't getting done. So this is where I am about to tie in the big rocks, but I have to stop for now. I'll try again later.